In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
It's never too late to be topless.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
