my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize