speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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