I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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