Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Randomize
