Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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