**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Randomize
