do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.