Texts From Last Night

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  (216): View more from Ohio

  So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab

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  (216): So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab http://tfl.nu/z45l
  Replies (20) Good night (4366) Bad night (1500)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.

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  (412): My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him. http://tfl.nu/tue9
  Replies (8) Good night (4317) Bad night (888)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day

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  (254): our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day http://tfl.nu/vjaj
  Replies (25) Good night (1712) Bad night (5629)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.

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  (603): I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part. http://tfl.nu/7yrx
  Replies (8) Good night (5215) Bad night (1128)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me

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  (703): i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me http://tfl.nu/jgjv
  Replies (8) Good night (4380) Bad night (1050)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.

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  (484): I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting. http://tfl.nu/ejol
  Replies (15) Good night (5938) Bad night (1531)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.

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  (401): Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible. http://tfl.nu/g0k8
  Replies (14) Good night (4403) Bad night (935)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."

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  (423): She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk." http://tfl.nu/peq8
  Replies (9) Good night (2613) Bad night (899)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  He likes bondage and spanking and shit.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.

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  (774): He likes bondage and spanking and shit. (508): Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that. http://tfl.nu/4784
  Replies (9) Good night (3239) Bad night (673)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.

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  (908): He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound. http://tfl.nu/kpce
  Replies (7) Good night (3353) Bad night (567)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?

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  (602): You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me? http://tfl.nu/mi92
  Replies (9) Good night (815) Bad night (4540)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small

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  (425): My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small http://tfl.nu/0a34
  Replies (5) Good night (820) Bad night (284)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.

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  (908): Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today. http://tfl.nu/fwke
  Replies (3) Good night (559) Bad night (244)
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  (951): View more from California

  Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."

  (713): View more from Texas

  Well thank god i want six autographed copies

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  (951): Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles." (713): Well thank god i want six autographed copies http://tfl.nu/b8sw
  Replies (3) Good night (554) Bad night (492)
• Favorite

  (863): View more from Florida

  The porch is breathing.

  (813): View more from Florida

  STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT

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  (863): The porch is breathing. (813): STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT http://tfl.nu/v5zw
  Replies (3) Good night (797) Bad night (388)

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