Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.