On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
