Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?

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(310): i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do? http://tfl.nu/rcm8

Replies (23) Good night (953) Bad night (1810)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.

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(505): He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis. http://tfl.nu/qfyr

Replies (37) Good night (4384) Bad night (710)
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(252): View more from North Carolina

I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone

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(252): I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone http://tfl.nu/p73u

Replies (43) Good night (1101) Bad night (6932)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.

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(508): i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip. http://tfl.nu/di6e

Replies (10) Good night (3476) Bad night (1686)
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(941): View more from Florida

Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?

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(941): Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"? http://tfl.nu/trim

Replies (60) Good night (3317) Bad night (1068)
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(870): View more from Arkansas

Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"

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(870): Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty" http://tfl.nu/dezg

Replies (14) Good night (1158) Bad night (4437)
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(256): View more from Alabama

do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!

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(256): do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?! http://tfl.nu/1fx5

Replies (12) Good night (6839) Bad night (1274)
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(503): View more from Oregon

i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.

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(503): i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding. http://tfl.nu/0bxz

Replies (10) Good night (876) Bad night (2976)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

Going to get a "plan B"urrito

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(612): Going to get a "plan B"urrito http://tfl.nu/muvk

Replies (7) Good night (3258) Bad night (1507)
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(410): View more from Maryland

She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!

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(410): She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success! http://tfl.nu/k1zi

Replies (10) Good night (1845) Bad night (637)
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(850): View more from Florida

I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.

(239): View more from Florida

that is the opposite of a normal text message.

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(850): I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult. (239): that is the opposite of a normal text message. http://tfl.nu/cufq

Replies (6) Good night (1816) Bad night (647)
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(647): View more from Ontario

The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them

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(647): The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them http://tfl.nu/sne8

Replies (0) Good night (611) Bad night (291)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship

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(860): so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship http://tfl.nu/7dsx

Replies (1) Good night (486) Bad night (302)
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(562): View more from California

I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.

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(562): I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me. http://tfl.nu/171n

Replies (3) Good night (1488) Bad night (350)
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(256): View more from Alabama

We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.

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(256): We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important. http://tfl.nu/x4o0

Replies (1) Good night (736) Bad night (308)

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