Texts From Last Night

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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again

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  (973): At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again http://tfl.nu/dnym
  Replies (6) Good night (1017) Bad night (511)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments

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  (954): It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments http://tfl.nu/zq97
  Replies (15) Good night (4391) Bad night (1367)
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  (530): View more from California

  dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often

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  (530): dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often http://tfl.nu/lo0b
  Replies (10) Good night (4464) Bad night (787)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  he said i ruined lesbian porn for him

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  (+44): he said i ruined lesbian porn for him http://tfl.nu/xboc
  Replies (12) Good night (953) Bad night (3906)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay

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  (512): Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay http://tfl.nu/t4tt
  Replies (9) Good night (4433) Bad night (1006)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  She wants to have naked weekends

  (541): View more from Oregon

  They call that free range vagina in France

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  (503): She wants to have naked weekends (541): They call that free range vagina in France http://tfl.nu/sou7
  Replies (9) Good night (2715) Bad night (643)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.

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  (306): You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota. http://tfl.nu/9skm
  Replies (5) Good night (974) Bad night (453)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Your topless pictures make me question reality

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  (815): Your topless pictures make me question reality http://tfl.nu/0lfq
  Replies (6) Good night (960) Bad night (633)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD

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  (724): Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD http://tfl.nu/rhmm
  Replies (4) Good night (924) Bad night (660)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!

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  (612): He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants! http://tfl.nu/fscl
  Replies (7) Good night (661) Bad night (357)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night

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  (414): Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night http://tfl.nu/d0sx
  Replies (0) Good night (235) Bad night (392)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.

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  (847): So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along. http://tfl.nu/d3ni
  Replies (2) Good night (560) Bad night (246)
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  (212): View more from New York

  When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.

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  (212): When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones. http://tfl.nu/g2sl
  Replies (5) Good night (410) Bad night (719)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.

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  (913): Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again. http://tfl.nu/khdg
  Replies (1) Good night (555) Bad night (260)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"

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  (301): Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one" http://tfl.nu/uk9s
  Replies (0) Good night (598) Bad night (174)

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