i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
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