dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize