sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
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