Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
