You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
as a side note pls kill me
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize