Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
