My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
