Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
