so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Randomize
