I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize