READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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