so let's talk penis.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
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If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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