people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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