I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
