before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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