OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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