i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
