Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Are we still banned from the library?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
