real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
