I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
