I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
