It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
