What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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