do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
