im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize