So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
True college students do jello shots in the library
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
