covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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