There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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