If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Never underestimate the power of titties
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
