dude i'm inner monologue high
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
