So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
