Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
