Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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