Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
