How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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