Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize