NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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