So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
