If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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