I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
