We're like a lot better than the average bears
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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