We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
