If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
