Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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