i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
