she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
