i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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