A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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