She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
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