i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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