OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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