It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Randomize
