remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
