She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
