I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
